Hey You Kids, Get Off the Red Carpet! VMA Fashion Fails

I've never felt older or more out of touch then when I watched this year's VMA red carpet coverage. Who are these people, and what the heck are they wearing?!
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There comes a point in everyone’s life when you realize that you’re no longer young. That moment came for me as I scrolled through coverage of the 2021 VMA red carpet. Not only did I have no clue who half these people are, but I also did not understand what they were wearing. At all.

Lil Nas X Brings It

Okay, I’m going to start out by saying something nice. Because I honestly think Lil Nas X served a fantastic look on the red carpet last night. From the Jheri curls wig, which evoked Little Richard and Lionel Richie, to the sweeping train of his lavender Atelier Versace suit, I thought he looked fantastic.

Apparently, the suit was an homage to Lil Kim’s 1999 look, which featured a way, WAY off-the-shoulder cut. Frankly, I saw more Billy Porter than Lil Kim, but there’s no question that Lil Nas X is always 100% authentically himself.

Hello, Kacey!

Kacey Musgraves brought some Hello, Dolly! realness with her GIANT feathered hat and opera gloves. I truly don’t understand the thought process behind this look. The purple Valentino minidress was a great foundation for an understated, glamorous look. Then she plonked an entire ostrich on her head.

Did she wear it during the whole show, blocking the view of everyone seated behind her? Check out her massive feathered hat here.

Kim Kardashian Kosplay

Megan Fox is the most talked-about celeb on the VMA red carpet, and she wasn’t even nominated! She was there in support of her “future baby daddy” Machine Gun Kelly, who went on to win Best Alternative. It’s not totally clear if Megan was announcing her pregnancy or just being cute when she and Kourtney Kardashian introduced MGK and Travis Barker.

Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly backstage at the 2021 VMAs
Instagram | @MeganFox

It’s ironic that Megan and Kourtney presented together since Megan was dressed up in a budget version of Kim Kardashian’s Thierry Mugler look at the 2019 Met Gala. Fox also wore Mugler last night, although can you really call it “wearing” when the garment in question is a sheer, bedazzled body stocking? Even her hair is styled to look just like Kim’s greasy waves. She also wore a shiny silver thong under her dress, evoking Rose McGowan’s headline-grabbing chainmail apron from the 1998 VMAs.

Basically, what I’m saying is that there’s nothing new about Megan’s look. Yawn.

Bella Poarch Dresses as ‘Sexy Rita Repulsa’

Mega viral TikTok star Bella Poarch has been trying to convince everyone to take her seriously as an artist. Her main tactic is to dress like the classic Power Rangers villain Rita Repulsa going through a goth phase. The petite 24-year-old was nominated for Best Visual Effects, which she lost to Lil Nas X.

Her Princess Dominatrix thing, like Megan Fox’s see-through dress, is just tired at this point. Check out her look here.

Justin Bieber Goes Full Derelicte

So I know that part of Justin Bieber’s “thing” these days is that he’s anti-fame and just wants to live his life and make music. He scored Artist of the Year at the VMAs, along with Best Pop for “Peaches.” Good for him, you know? He’s been through a lot, and I find myself genuinely rooting for him.

But like, what is this look saying? There’s deciding not to play the red carpet fashion game, and then there’s actively insulting everyone who bothered to get dressed up for this thing.

Hailey Bieber showed up wearing a sheer white Alaïa–a totally important designer, as Cher from Clueless would say. While it’s not my favorite look, it’s still recognizable as fashion.