Valentine’s Day is upon us! What better way to celebrate this romantic season than curling up with a fun romantic comedy? But which comedy should you watch?! Worry not, dear reader, for I have assigned a sweet and silly film for each zodiac sign.
Read on to find out which rom-com is perfect for you. Don’t forget to check your moon and rising signs as well as your sun signs! I suggest you check your Venus and Mars signs as well, since those planets rule romantic inclinations and sexuality. You can check your birth chart here.
Enjoy this trailer from a brilliant rom-com parody!
Written by Max Landis (this is the only time I’ll recommend a Landis film) and directed by Paco Cabezas
This film tells the story of a hyperactive woman who falls in love with an adventurous assassin who has a peculiar moral code. The cardinal fire sign will appreciate the non-stop action, the wholesome yet quirky dialogue, and the unusually optimistic main characters.
Film quotes that Aries will love: “I don’t think before I act sometimes, but I’m not a bad person. You think bad people have the capacity to .. love and stuff?”
Written and directed by Adrienne Shelly
This movie has everything Taureans love. Romance, slightly naughty scenes, and pie! Waitress is a sweet film about a woman named Jenna who, while trying to find a way to leave her husband and open her own pie shop, finds herself pregnant and infatuated with her OBGYN.
Film quotes that Taureans will love: “If I had a penny for everything I love about you, I would have many pennies.”
Written and directed by Nora Ephron and co-written by Delia Ephron
Geminis communicate best through the power of the written word, and that is why they will love this Nora Ephron classic. Adapted from the 1940’s film The Shop Around The Corner, this film is about a bookseller and the head of a corporate bookstore chain falling in love while exchanging emails. After watching this movie, give Sleepless in Seattle a try.
Film quotes that Gemini will love: “I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils.”
Written by Isaac Aptaker and Elizabeth Berger and directed by Greg Berlanti
High school can be hard, especially when you are a young closeted teen who wants to find love. This movie tells the story of a boy named Simon (obviously) who is trying to find the mysterious young man who he has been chatting with online. Cancerians will appreciate the angsty and sentimental dialogue.
Film quotes that Cancerians will love: “Sometimes I Feel Like I’m Stuck On A Ferris Wheel. One Minute I’m On Top Of The World, The Next I’m At Rock Bottom. Over And Over, All Day Long. Because A Lot About Life Is Great. But Nobody Knows I’m Gay.”
Written by George Axelrod, directed by Blake Edwards, and adapted from the novel by Truman Capote
If Holly Golightly does not have Leo somewhere in her birth chart, I will eat my shoe and the foot to go with it. Leos will adore this story about a writer who becomes fascinated with his neighbor who has a larger-than-life personality. Just a warning, this 1961 film does feature an offensive Asian stereotype, so it’s understandable if you’d rather skip it.
Film quotes that Leos will love: “I’ll tell you one thing, Fred, darling… I’d marry you for your money in a minute. Would you marry me for my money?”
Written by Brian Wayne Peterson and directed by Jamie Babbit
Like the main character in this movie, Megan, Virgos often feel the need to be perfect every minute of every day. The mutable earth sign will appreciate Megan’s transformation from the timid closeted girl-next-door to the out and proud lesbian who finds love and runs away from a prissy, pastel conversion camp.
Film quotes that Virgos will love: “It’s really easy to be a prude when you’re not attracted to him, isn’t it?”
Written by Nia Vardalos and directed by Joel Zwick
My Big Fat Greek Wedding follows the story of Toula who, against her Greek family’s wishes, gets engaged to a non-Greek. Libras will appreciate watching Toula’s many attempts to keep the peace between the two families. They will also love the genuinely sweet chemistry between Nia Vardalos and John Corbett.
Film quotes that Libras will love: “Here … we have apple and orange. We all different, but … we all fruit.”
Written and directed by Jonathan Levine and adapted from the novel by Isaac Marion
Scorpios need their romantic comedies to be a little spooky! Warm Bodies retells the story of Romeo and Juliet with an interesting twist. The world is overrun by zombies! R is a young zombie going through the motions until he meets a beautiful zombie hunter named Julie. It’s silly, violent, and uplifting. All the ingredients for a perfect Scorpio flick.
Film quotes that Scorpios will love: “You miss him…like a boyfriend. You miss your zombie boyfriend?”
Written by Bert V. Royal and directed by Will Gluck
Based on the novel The Scarlet Letter, by Nathaniel Hawthorne, this movie tells the story of Olive, a teenager who gets ridiculed by her classmates for her perceived promiscuity, before reclaiming the narrative. Sagittarians will relate to Olive’s wit and introspective narration. They will also love her fiery attitude. If you are looking for something a bit more dramatic, try Love and Basketball.
Film quotes that Sagittarians will love: “You’re wonderful. And you’ll handle this the same way I did. With an incontrovertible sense of humor. But you’re much smarter than I am, so you’ll come out of this much better than I did.”
Written by John Hughes and Kevin Wade and directed by Wayne Wang
In Maid in Manhattan we follow a hotel maid Marisa, who dreams of becoming the hotel manager. Along the way, she accidentally assumes the identity of a socialite and falls in love with Chris, a wealthy politician. Capricorns will appreciate the ambitious main characters and the charismatic dialogue.
Film quotes that Capricorns will love: “But remember, they are only people with money. And although we serve them, we are not their servants. What we do, Miss Ventura, does not define who we are. What defines us is how well we rise after falling.”
Written by Karen McCullah and Kirsten Smith and directed by Gil Junger
Kat Stafford definitely has Aquarius placements. She’s also the kind of gall young Aquarians aspire to be like! This Taming of the Shrew adaptation follows the unlikely story of high school boys working together to woo two sisters. One is sweet, popular, and a bit self centered. The other is outspoken, individualistic, and quick tempered. Aquarians will appreciate that Kat never loses her strong sense of self even after falling in love. If you want another comedic Shakespearean adaptation, try Deliver Us From Eva.
Film quotes that Aquarians will love: “Ooh, see that, there. Who needs affection when I have blind hatred?”
Written by William Goldman, directed by Rob Reiner, and adapted from the novel by William Goldman… Or was it S. Morgenstern?
This classic could have easily been paired with sweet and romantic Cancer. But given it’s whimsical fairytale setting, I figured it was perfect for Pisces. This movie tells the story of a beautiful young woman named Buttercup being forced to marry an evil prince despite being in love with the sweet yet roguish Westley. Empathetic Pisces will appreciate the sentimental and imaginative story telling.
Film quotes that Pisces will love: “Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.”
Written by Chris Matheson, Kerry Ehrin, and Craig Munson and directed by Nick Castle
This movie is not a comedy, and it is certainly not romantic. Just as Ophiuchus is not a zodiac sign. You know those movies that are “so bad they’re funny?” This movie is so bad that it’s just bad. It’s disturbing, unsettling, and not humorous at all. You can watch the trailer, but prepare to cringe.
Film quotes that Ophiuchus will love: There are no good quotes in this movie.