The world is getting to know and falling in love with the talented writer/director/actor Taika Waititi. Before he brought us Thor: Ragnarok, Thor: Love and Thunder, and Our Flag Means Death hardcore, he was a mild-mannered vampire in the hilarious mockumentary What We Do In The Shadows. He not only portrayed the vampire Viago, he also helped write and direct the film as well as the series that was inspired by the film.
Today, let’s find out which blood-thirstycharacter from the show each zodiac sign embodies. Don’t forget to check your moon and rising signs as well as your sun sign. You can check your birth chart here.
This article contains spoilers.
Portrayed by Kayvan Novak
Aries is the warrior of the zodiac so naturally I have to pair them with the Supreme Viceroy of Al Quolanudar, Nandor, The Relentless! Like the cardinal fire sign, he fancies himself a leader even though his emotional recklessness sometimes gets in the way.
Iconic Nandor quote that Aries will love:
“I was relentless. They would call me Nandor the Relentless. Because I would just never relent.”
Portrayed by Matt Berry
I have often said that Taureans are wholesome hedonists who you always want in your corner. And that description almost fits Lazslo to a T. He may be more of a hedonist than he is wholesome, but he adores his wife Nadja and cares for his friend Colin Robinson.
Iconic Lazslo quote that Taureans will love:
“Listen, I don’t know about you, but I’m very much in the mood for some sexual intercourse.”
Portrayed by Aida Turturro
Geminis are often characterized by their dualistic and erratic nature. And what could be more dualistic and erratic than a vampire/werewolf hybrid who divides her time between her carpathian and lycan lovers?
Also, Nadja totally doesn’t hate her.
Iconic Gail quote that Geminis will love:
“Yeah, I was married before and it is just..it’s just not for me. But hey, you know, maybe in 30 or 40 years down the road, who knows? I mean, we have all eternity to figure this out.”
Portrayed by Natasia Demetriou
Cancerians are known to be hypersensitive souls who crave a sense of home and belonging. That certainly sounds like a certain doll who is possessed by the emotional human soul of Nadja who runs away after feeling unappreciated.
Also, though I love this show, the fact that this character is just a doll version of Nadja is pretty indicative that it needs more main femme characters.
Iconic Doll quote that Cancer will love:
“Perhaps I’m that one extra piece leftover when a puzzle is already completed and there is no place where it fits. Which is not how a puzzle works, of course. But who gives a s***? That’s how I feel.”
Portrayed by Jemaine Clement
This is the only character on the list who was not only a character on the show, but also a main character in the mockumentary. Though he was a vain silly civilian vampire in the film, in the show he is part of the vampire council. Like a Leo, he is incredibly charming, theatrical, and a snazzy dresser. He demonstrates his theatrical tendencies when he hosts the Nouveau Théâtre des Vampire.
Iconic Vladislav quote that Leos will love:
“Leave me to do my dark bidding on the internet… I am bidding on a table.”
Technically, that quote is from the film not the show.
Portrayed by Harvey Guillen
Virgos are pragmatic, helpful, and loyal almost to a fault. So naturally I have to pair the mutable earth sign with Nandor’s beleaguered familiar, Guillermo de la Cruz. He is pretty down-to-earth (at least compared to everyone else in his vampiric household) and his loyalty to his master drives him to kill all of the vampire assassins that he encounters.
Not you Guillermo!
Iconic Guillermo quote that Virgos will love:
“I don’t kiss and tell. But I can tell you…I don’t kiss.”
Portrayed by Kristen Schaal
Libras often feel like they have to be the go-between and the mediators for different groups of people. And I am sure that The Guide often feels like the intercessor between the rag-tag main characters and the rest of the vampiric council. Libras are also ruled by Venus, so they can be quite flirtatious, and The Guide loves flirting with Guillermo.
Iconic Guide quote that Libras will love:
“We sent ravens. We sent 500 RAVENS! I’m shocked and appalled that you didn’t raven us back.”
Portrayed by Natasia Demetriou
Scorpios are known to be sensual, vengeful, and reckless, just like Nadja of Antipaxos. Nadja would be a Scorpio because of her wild love affairs with Laszlo, the many reincarnations of her lover Gregor, and the Baron Afanas. She would also be a Scorpio because she is not afraid to seek revenge from evil witches.
And, she definitely doesn’t hate Gail…but she does hate the goat.
Iconic Nadja quote that Scorpios will love:
“Do you remember that first time we made love? It was so passionate, I accidentally cut off your head.”
Portrayed by Doug Jones
Sagittarians are known to be fun yet introspective. They are also known to be well-versed in subjects that other people may not know much about. Like a Sagittarius, Baron Afanas can be the life of the party one minute and a bit broody the next. He is also one of the two vampires left alive who can speak an ancient vampire language.
Iconic Baron quote that Sagittarians will love:
“The Garlic Burns A Little But it.. BAAAAAAH!”
Portrayed by Mark Proksch
Capricorns are often called workaholics and they feel quite comfortable in a healthy work environment. Colin Robinson also feels comfortable in a work environment because as an energy vampire he can feed off his co-workers vitality.
Iconic Colin Robinson quote that Capricorns will love:
“One of the best ways to drain people’s energy is via the internet.”
Portrayed by Beanie Feldstein
The water-bearer often feels like an outsider amongst their peers. And Jenna feels like an outsider in her L.A.R.P. community as well as the vampire community because she doesn’t have a vampiric ability. But thankfully she harnesses her power of invisibility.
Iconic Jenna quote that Aquarians will love:
“My friends have noticed mood swings, unusual cravings – and sometimes I have this urge to turn my roommate to shreds. Yeah, it’s become pretty clear to me that I’m becoming a vampire.”
Portrayed by Catherine Cohen
Pisces are not only known to be zany water signs, they are also known to be the most musical sign in the zodiac. So naturally I have to pair them up with the half-human half-chicken character that lures sailors with her hypnotic singing voice.
Iconic quote about Sheila the Siren Pisces will love:
It’s not the first time a beautiful woman has s*** on my shoes.”
Portrayed by A Real Human Bartender
Ophiuchus is not a real zodiac sign and Jackie Daytona is not a real human bartender.
Fun fact: There is actually a musical artist named Jackie Daytona.