If you have a problem with Letterkenny, you have a problem with me. I suggest you let that one marinate.
Jared Keeso has not only brought a new spin-off to Hulu called Shoresy, he has also brought us the eleventh season of the beloved Canadian comedy, Letterkenny. We can’t get enough of Letterkenny and we can’t get enough of Shoresy… and Riley and Jonesy’s moms can’t get enough of him either.
Let’s celebrate Jared Keeso’s latest triumph by figuring out which Letterkenny citizen we would be based on our zodiac signs. Don’t be a degen and forget to check your moon and rising signs as well as your sun sign. You can check your birth chart here.
Just a quick warning, this article contains spoilers and some of the clips may have language that may not be suitable for everyone.
Aries – Tanis
Tanis is the quintessential Aries. She is passionate and driven. She is fiercely loyal and protective of her family and community. And she loves a good fight, especially if she and her crew are fighting the “Hard Right.” So naturally, I had to pair her up with the warrior of the zodiac. Plus she looks awesome in Aries’ power color, red!
A Tanis quote Aries will love:
“Well, men shouldn’t shackle women. We made Prohibition happen. Watch your step.”
Bonus: Coach would probably be an Aries due to his passion and his temper. But the fact that he didn’t make the official list is EMBARRASSING!
Taurus – Gail
Taureans are wholesome hedonists. And if there is one thing that Gailor loves it’s her epicurean delights. Upon first watch, you may not think of her as wholesome. But as you get to know the character, you see that even though she is one of the most lascivious citizens in Letterkenny, she is also one of the most endearing.
A Gailor quote Taureans will love:
“I am willing to give 69% of my company to a partner, why 69%? Both sides benefit!”
Gemini – Riley and Jonesy
Gemini is represented by the twins so I had to pair it with two of Letterkenny’s most lovable doofuses. I couldn’t split them up. Riley and Jonesy are two peas in a pod who share many Gemini traits. They are both erratic and insecure. But they are also sympathetic and kind-hearted. They also talk a lot, but then everyone in Letterkenny talks a lot.
A Riley and Jonesy quote Gemini will love:
Bonus: Jim Dickins would also be a Gemini, due to his fast-talking ways.
Cancer – Squirrely Dan
Squirrely Dan is one of the most thoughtful denizens of Letterkenny. And we probably have Professor Tricia to thank for that. He would be a Cancerian due to his compassionate and intuitive nature. He is also rather eloquent and good at getting his point across. But he can be quite moody when someone disrespects women or adds an “s” at the end of “sushi.”
A Squirrely Dan quote Cancerians will love:
“Good hygienes is the only jeans that never goes out of style.”
Leo – Mrs. McMurray
Everyone loves Mrs. McMurray. That’s why she won the anti-beauty pageant. Like the fixed fire sign, she is charming, bombastic, and incredibly flirtatious. She also has a warm heart and a deep devotion to her husband. Despite being a bit of an over-sharer, I can’t think of a single negative Leo trait that she embodies. Only the positive ones.
I would put a quote here, but I honestly don’t think my editor would accept them due to the flagrant profanity.
Virgo – Roald
Oh Roald, sweet little Roald. Out of all of the skids, he is probably the most likable. The mutable earth signs will relate to Roald, because of his timid nature and inability to relax. But they will also relate to his loyalty because he is undyingly loyal to Stewart.
A Roald quote Virgos will love:
Libra – Bonnie McMurray
I know you are probably wondering why I put Bonnie and Mrs. McMurray on the list, but not McMurray. It’s because there are too many dudes on this list as it is. The folks in Letterkenny are known to have disagreements every now and then, but the one thing they can all agree on is how much they adore Bonnie McMurray. Like a Libra, she is able to keep the peace in Letterkenny just by being herself.
Sadly, though Bonnie has many memorable scenes, she doesn’t have many memorable quotes. The most memorable quote attributed to her is when the Letterkenny denizens wistfully sigh her name.
Scorpio – Katy
Katy is the perfect Scorpio. She sets out for the city to become a model and tries to date Stewart so we know she is adventurous. She is loyal to her brother and gets revenge on his cheating ex. And she is one of the most sensual and sexiest citizens in Letterkenny. And that’s just some of things we appreciates about Miss Katy.
A Katy quote Scorpios will love:
“On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?”
Sagittarius – Glen
Sagittarians are known for their charitable nature, their sage advice, and their love for the metaphysical. And Pastor Glen fits… some of these aspects. Or at least he thinks he does. Sagittarians are also known to be quite entertaining, and Glen fancies himself an entertainer.
A Glen quote Sagittarians will love:
“Oh, Jesus, help me. I need you now. I can’t remember how to make lemonade. I need your help, Jesus. I’ve been bad and I’m scared and I’m afraid. Where’s my Jesus? Help me, Jesus.”
Capricorn – Wayne
Is anyone really surprised that I paired Wayne up with Capricorn? I mean, Capricorn is the executive of the zodiac and he is the toughest, most hardworking man in Letterkenny. He can be very charismatic despite his no-nonsense nature, and he is very protective of his loved ones, especially his sister.
A Wayne quote Capricorns will love:
“It’s a hard life, picking stones and pulling teats, but sure as god’s got sandals, it beats fighting dudes with treasure trails.”
To be faaaaaaiiiiirrrrr… Wayne has a lot of great quotes throughout the show that Capricorns will love.
Aquarius – Stewart
Aquarians often feel like outsiders, and Stewart’s skid status makes him a bit of an outsider in the town of Letterkenny. Like the fixed air sign, Stewart is reckless and temperamental, but he can be compassionate when the mood strikes him. He also believes himself to be a wondrous revolutionary. Aquarians are also known to be technologically inclined, and he does try to start a social media site for farts.
A Stewart quote Aquarians will love:
“You must evolve from your primitive thinking!”
Pisces – Darry
Wayne wishes his bud wasn’t so awkward. But we love him just the way he is. Like the mutable water sign, Darry is kind and sensitive. Darry is a sweet-natured soul, though it wouldn’t kill him to change out of his farm clothes every now and then. His kind nature, endearing naïveté, and super soft birthday parties make him the quintessential Pisces.
A Darry quote Pisces will love:
“Four leaf clover, make a wish!”
Ophiuchus – Ginger and Boots
Nobody likes Ginger and Boots and for very good (alleged) reasons. Nobody likes Ophiuchus because it’s not a real sign!