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Wednesday: Which Austere Adult Are You Based on Your Zodiac Sign?

Are Gomez, Morticia, or Fester? Read on to find out!
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Wednesday! The Netflix show so nice, I had to write about it twice. This is my second Wednesday article, but it may not be my last.

The world has fallen in love with Netflix’s Wednesday, and that is in no small part due to the talented actors playing all the interesting characters. 

Yesterday, I paired all of the Jericho teens with the zodiac signs. But today, I’m pairing all of the adult characters with the signs. Don’t forget to check your moon and rising signs as well as your sun sign. You can check your birth chart here.

This article contains spoilers and some of the video links may have upsetting scenes. Read and view at your own discretion.

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Aries – Sheriff Donovan Galpin

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Portrayed by Jamie McShane

If Eugene Ottinger exemplified many of Aries’s positive traits, Sheriff Galpin embodies all of the cardinal fire sign’s negative traits. He has a short fuse and is too impulsive when it comes to making important decisions. This impulsivity is demonstrated by his overeagerness to arrest Gomez Addams for a crime that he did not commit.

Taurus – Marilyn Thornhill

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Portrayed by Christina Ricci

Like all Taureans, Marilyn Thornhill is quite dedicated to her family. Perhaps a bit too dedicated if you ask me, since she seeks revenge on an entire school for the death of her father and brother. She is also a bit too controlling like the fixed earth sign. She is the one who is controlling the Hyde monster after all. I also had to pair her with an earth sign since she loves plants so much.

Side note: I was so excited when I learned that the actress who played Wednesday in the 90’s films was going to have a major role in the show!

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Gemini – Thing

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Portrayed by Victor Dorobantu

I know I already mentioned Thing in my last Wednesday article, but he is awesome and deserves to be mentioned in as many articles as possible. I paired Thing with Gemini because he is one of the most adaptable and helpful characters in the entire show and mutable signs are known for their adaptability.

Principal Weems would probably argue that she is the MOST adaptable character in the show, but we will get to her later.

Cancer – Gabrielle

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Portrayed by Gracy Goldman

Like mother, like daughter. I paired Gabrielle’s daughter Bianca Barclay with Cancer because she is compassionate and always worried that people will think she is manipulating them with her powers. But now I am pairing Gabrielle with Cancer because she actually is using her powers to manipulate people into joining a mysterious Morningsong group.

Bianca is the quintessential kind Moon child, whereas Gabrielle is a prime example of an emotionally unevolved Cancerian.

Leo – MC Blood Suckaz

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Portrayed by Edward Kennedy

Leos are one of the most entertaining and theatrical signs in the entire zodiac. The fixed fire sign prides itself on their ability to throw an epic party, which is why I paired them with MC Blood Suckaz. The DJ may not have appeared in many episodes and we may not get to know him as a character, but he is one of the characters responsible for giving us this iconic scene.

Side Note: I wish people would stop dubbing over “Goo Goo Muck” when posting the video of Wednesday dancing. I love Lady Gaga as much as the next girl, but let’s give The Cramps some credit where credit is due.

Virgo – Dr. Valerie Kinbott

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Portrayed by Riki Lindhome

Virgos are known to be pragmatic and analytical. Does that sound like a certain therapist that we know? I think it is safe to say that Dr. Kinbott is perhaps a bit too analytical at times. Like the mutable earth sign, she is also a bit too kind-hearted when she tries to help teenagers who are hyde-ing a big secret. Get it? Hyde-ing? Hopefully, my editor won’t hate that pun too much.

Also, if you loved Dr. Kinbott, you will love her musical group, Garfunkel and Oats.

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Libra – Principal Larissa Weems

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Portrayed by Gwendoline Christie

I paired Principal Larissa Weems with Libra for several different reasons. Libras are known to be quite adaptable, and as a shape-shifter, Weems is one of the most adaptable characters in the show next to Thing. She is also quite diplomatic like the cardinal air sign. Some could argue that she is a bit overly diplomatic since she tries to force a harmonious relationship between the outcast and the normies.

Scorpio – Gomez Addams

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Portrayed by Luis Guzmán

Scorpio’s ancient ruling planet is Mars, the planet of passion. And it is plain to see that Gomez Addams is one of the most passionate characters in the entire show. He is also incredibly loyal to his family. He takes the blame for a crime he didn’t commit just so that the love of his life doesn’t have to go to jail. If that is not loyalty, I don’t know what is.

Sagittarius – Joseph Crackstone

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Portrayed by William Houston

Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter, the planet that governs our philosophical views and religious proclivities. So I paired the mutable sign with the biggest religious zealot in all of Jericho, Joseph Crackstone. But that is not the only reason for this pairing. Crackstone has a penchant for setting things on fire, so it only makes sense to pair him with a fire sign. 

Capricorn – Mayor Noble Walker

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Portrayed by Tommie Earl Jenkins

As cardinal signs, Capricorns are known to have exceptional leadership skills. And Mayor Walker tries so hard to be a good leader for the town of Jericho. But it’s kind of hard when you have a Hyde monster running around and killing people and a vengeful teacher trying to resurrect an evil pilgrim. So maybe we should cut him some slack.

Aquarius – Fester Addams

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Portrayed by Fred Armisen

Like his niece, Fester Addams could be considered an outcast amongst the outcasts, since he never went to Nevermore academy. And if there is any zodiac sign who knows what it feels like to be an outcast, it’s Aquarius. But like Aquarius, Fester is not only known for his isolative nature. He is also quite intelligent and innovative like the fixed air sign. He is also compassionate even though he may not always show it.

Pisces – Morticia Addams

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Portrayed by Catherine Zeta-Jones

It is revealed later on in the first season that, like her daughter, Morticia Addams is also a psychic. But unlike Wednesday, she is a positive psychic. So it stands to reason that she would be a perfect Pisces, since it is believed that people who have Pisces in a prominent place in their birth chart have psychic tendencies. 

Also, if Morticia is a Pisces, that means she would be compatible with Scorpio Gomez.

Ophiuchus – Elle Woods

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Portrayed by Reese Witherspoon

Elle Woods was technically in the show but she isn’t actually a character. And Ophiuchus isn’t actually a zodiac sign.